After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let the President know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 called the White House with this reply, "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
next one
Why am I tired
The population of this country is about 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes...
this one is really wtf =X HAHA
"CAB DRIVERS"
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
JUST JOKES PEOPLE! NO HARD FEELINGS!
"COLD WAR"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
this is really evil
"YOU ARE NEXT"
Everytime little Jonathon went to a wedding, his grandma would say, "You're next" with a little smirk on her face. Jonathon hated it when his grandma said that so when they went to a funeral, he told his grandma "You're next" with the same smirk.
"First Day"
A man in a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much,” the passenger says.
“It’s not your fault,” replies the cabbie. “Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse.”
definition of a hearse = A vehicle for carrying a coffin to a church or a cemetery; formerly drawn by horses but now usually a motor vehicle
WW III
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"
Bush said, "We're planning World War III."
The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"
Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"
ok last joke of the night. contributed by Zen
Jack Neo and Will Smith cooperate to film 'I am Stupid'.
LIM CHEN HUNG CLEMENT
11th September 1990
Flute,Piccolo,Piano Riverside Concert Band
Sembawang Symphonic Winds
Sembawang Wind Orchestra Nanyang Junior College Symphonic Band
NAFA Diploma in Music Performance
miyazawaflautist@hotmail.com
WISHLIST
Muramatsu SR
More gigs, performance
More exposure to the scene
Money
Good techniques
To be a professional flautist
Laptop
(:
