i don't know but. i just feel like banging the wall a zillion times and i wonder if it will ever be enough.
the inner me's gonna burst soon, can't take it anymore. really frustrating.
discipline is something that you inculcate in you. or rather people inculcate it INTO you since you were born. and after so many years of disciplinary-teaching, as how i would prefer to call it, and you still fail to discipline yourself when necessary. can i consider that as being a human being who's a FAILURE?
thought today will turn out to be a better day but guess i was wrong. feel like digging a hole and hide myself there forever after from the whole world. this is just one of the times when i really feel like. can i put down my responsibilities and see what happens? cuz it seems like it doesn't make a difference if i take or don't take up my responsibilities. just feel like ranting today.
feeling suicidal. lol. it's worse when you realise what you try to do don't work and when someone else tries it. it WORKS.IT WORKS DAMNIT! AND WHATEVER THE PERSON TRIED TO DO. YOU TRIED IT TOO BUT WHEN YOU DO IT, IT DOESN'T WORK A SHIT..
it makes me wonder sometimes. am i doing the right thing? am i wasting my time?what the hell am i doing????????? all questions. no answers. if this is going to be it, how will it turn out to be in a few years time???
appreciate that i have so many friends.
side track.
belated valentines' day presents/total defence day presents. lol.
not practicing my flute for like just 2 days make a significantly huge difference. the style i want for my mozart flute concerto is almost gone, cant get the feel. the tone isn't satisfying enough. dynamic range seem to shrink too. worse still. my technique's 'deproving' gosh...so tired.
LIM CHEN HUNG CLEMENT
11th September 1990
Flute,Piccolo,Piano Riverside Concert Band
Sembawang Symphonic Winds
Sembawang Wind Orchestra Nanyang Junior College Symphonic Band
NAFA Diploma in Music Performance
miyazawaflautist@hotmail.com
WISHLIST
Muramatsu SR
More gigs, performance
More exposure to the scene
Money
Good techniques
To be a professional flautist
Laptop
(:
